to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
