i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
