that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
