you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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