did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
