i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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