Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
