My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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