You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
