he puts the penis in happiness.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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