I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
