dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
