Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So squirting runs in the family.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
