it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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