He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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