If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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