her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
