at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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