I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
