He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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