I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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