Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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