why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
