Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
