I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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