If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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