the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
