No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
