i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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