I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
