Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize