problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
