I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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