seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
