She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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