I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
