We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
