moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
