she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
