Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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