You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
