Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize