What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
