butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
