Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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