Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
