I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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