I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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