FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it because I queefed?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
