I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize