just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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