come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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