Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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