You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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