I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
