why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
