I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
