You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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