super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
