just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
