The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize