You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
