She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
