seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
