Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
