going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
