my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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