We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
