He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
