she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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