She said her name was "party"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
