I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
