Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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