I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
