i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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