i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize