put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
