am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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