If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
